The Great Chimera
by Adora Dark
Summary: For Rin and Haru, every night is like a moth's trip towards the light. A chase of dreams, away from the life's stalemate. (AU)
A sad and erotic AU fic. Some BDSM and mild drug abuse. While writing it, I was listening to "So Sad" by Marianne Faithfull. For those that are familiar with it, I've included a short lyric as a reference in this fic :) Also the lyrics following the end of the story come from it. ( written for HaruRintercourse event on tumblr).

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 **The Great Chimera**

myth a fire-breathing monster with the head of a lion, body of a goat, and tail of a serpent

 _ **2\. a wild and unrealistic dream or notion**_

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There's a faint humming sound as a brown striped moth flutters through the dense air. It's a paradox how Rin picks up the feeble noise of flying struggle among the human cacophony and the psychedelic vibes coming from the nearby hall, but he does. His ruby eyes follow its uncertain course through clouds of smoke, cheap perfume and primal sexual desperation, as it heads spellbound towards the flickering amber light. Hanging by the low ceiling, a sphere lamp sheds its sickly sheet around old furniture and gloomy faces. Inside its globe, countless tiny travelers lie lifeless, tricked by the magnetic light that lured them to their doom.

The moth's trip towards the glow is like a chase of chimeras. There's no reward in the end, there's only the thrill.

Someone places a bottle of beer in front of him. Someone else tells a crude joke. Rin laughs. This laughter of his is so foreign to his ears. Words effortlessly slip past his lips as he continues the joke. Who's that parasite residing in his body? He has been wondering for a while now.

A door swings open and a slender young man hurries in. His raven bangs are damp and matted on his forehead, the top of his navy blue jacket soaked, his sneakers muddy. Several heads turn his way, but the dirty jabber never hushes down. Rin adjusts his black robe and lets the cold beer cool his throat instead.

"You're late."

A middle-aged woman towers over the brunet. The heavy make up darkens her face like a smudge and wrinkled fingers tighten around her long cigarette.

"It's raining and the roads were slippery."

"That's why you take a faster transport instead of your bloody bicycle. Go get ready, you have thirty minutes."

The man obliges almost like a robot. Rin's focus wavers between him and that menacing being that calls herself a Lady. There's an urge building inside him, fueling his mind with unlawful ideas. Somehow he wonders how that creased neck would feel under his unyielding grip. A hand pats him on the back and his smug smile masks his thoughts away. He never gives into them.

"Hey Nanase!" someone shouts.

Haruka takes a brief glimpse of the boisterous fellowship as he's passing by. Resting on tattered, stained sofas like sheep waiting for slaughter. His azure eyes, cold and vacant, glide over their faces, including Rin's radiant one. He nods in acknowledgement and momentarily vanishes behind a vintage screen at the other end of that musty hole.

"Such a strange bloke" Kisumi rolls a cigarette next to the redhead. He takes in some heady puffs and passes it around. "Is he any good?"

"Mhm...you're interested?"

"Nah, love. I don't think he fancies me at all."

Rin sneers , his lips forming perfect rings of smoke.

"That's cause you're a bitch... _bitch_."

"Who knows why Nanase ended up here" a coarse voice chimes in.

"Don't be a dickhead, Uozumi-kun. Why any of us is here if not for the money?"

"This is my only way of making a living, you bubblegum jerk. Nanase looks like he is saving money for a school trip."

Low chuckles spread around the young men. Rin sighs and stretches his muscles under the flimsy robe. The knot loosens a bit and the dark folds reveal firm plains of a smooth, rosy chest.

"So you think he hates this filthy place less than you do? Is that it?"

"Don't know, don't care. He looks like a fish out of water. There's even a rumour he was a swimming prodigy once but he failed."

"We all have our reasons for being here, Uozumi-kun." Kisumi concludes, sending a surreptitious glance to the usually rowdy redhead by his side. Silence rarely suits him.

"School trips included."

A new wave of chuckles, louder this time, blazes up the faces surrounding Rin. At the opposite corner, Haruka has already stripped off his casual clothes. Deft, long fingers powder his cheeks, quietly as he sits in front of a rather tacky mirror, staring at the dull glass with those empty eyes of immense sky-blue, but seeing nothing in return. Rin knows the autopilot deal first hand. He has signed one with himself as well.

"What's so bad about saving money to travel around?" he blurts all of a sudden and the sarcastic laughter dies out.

"Ah, you're a dreamer, Matsuoka. You really believe there's ever a way to get away from this pit?"

"I'd like to think there is."

"They won't let anyone slip off their claws easily, love. Especially that old slag."

"Yeah think of Minami. That pansy was caught having an affair with one of the boys and they kicked him out. He's probably wandering penniless in the streets now."

A grave growl escapes Kisumi's throat. It reminisces nothing of the impish tone that makes him so popular.

"There's more into Minami's story, so keep your voice down, moron."

This rotten world has its own rules, its own dark and twisted Bible. And woe to the poor soul who blindly oversteps them. If there is one thing they are not supposed to do in this underground joint, that's engaging into romance. It's _'bad for the business'_ as they are told the very first night on the job, again and again, until it's imprinted on their minds like a tribal tattoo. And if they ever stray away, the Lady and her clique are always there to bring them back on track. Using any means necessary.

The Lady is approaching their little group now, heavy hips swaying unflatteringly with each drumming of heels. Rin can almost see the red marks of his fingertips blemishing her withered neck. A wildly amusing vision.

"Matsuoka, you're up in five minutes! You and Nanase are rolling first, Kisumi you're soloing once they're done. Stop messing with your pink hair and be ready, I don't want any awkward breaks like last time."

They stand up amidst mocking groans and nervous cackles. But Rin's advance is halted by a long, red nail gently scraping its way down his bare chest.

"Don't disappoint me, kid."

"When have I ever, Mona?"

His garnet jewels sparkle with mischief while he flashes her his trademark shark grin. The one that enslaves the crowds.

Several steps away, Haruka steadies his black bandit mask and places down a burgundy pencil. His outlined lips appear juicier now, or so he's often told. For him, no facade can make a difference if the soul is raw. Pretending to be someone else never led him to elude the taint. Out of the corner of his eye, he observes Rin. Dallying with the rest libertines, he's standing among them like a Louis missing his crown. The thin fabric of his ebony robe hugs his body like a cascade of ink, sketching every well defined muscle that lies underneath. His nudity below the garment is scandalously obvious. In the deepest hollows of decay, Rin's luminosity always finds a way to reach the surface and manifest itself. Even now, it rains down on Haruka's face, petite droplets of radiance he can only perceive.

As the redhead leaves the stuffy room, Haruka's gaze drifts to the big lamp above their heads that floods everything with its sickly light. Black spots tarnish its glass, as the corpses of various insects remain at the bottom. _So many trapped souls in this place_ , he thinks. _So many_.

Once the door leading to the toilets shuts behind him, Rin's smile evaporates. The light is stronger here and the odours of lavender cologne mixed with sweat more distinct. He staggers to the oval washbasins, the countless spots on their surface creating an amalgam of tan and grey. Rinsing his face in cold water, again and again, is never enough. His hand gropes for something inside his robe's pockets and soon he pulls out a plain, bandit mask. His blank stare fixates on the velvet accessory, resisting the impulse to crumble it inside his palm.

The door opens again with a creaking sound and light footsteps fill the air around him. Kisumi turns on the second tap beside him and swiftly gulps a pill down. He places the plastic vial on the sink and silently pushes it towards the shark boy. Rin shakes his head.

"You shouldn't be mixing them with alcohol."

"They keep me going, love."

It's a flat statement. And that's the most chilling part. He takes a second one.

"Say, Kisumi...About Minami...What really happened to him?"

Truth is the incident has been racking Rin's mind for weeks. Minami's face keeps sneaking in his sleep like an intruder, turning his dreams to stressful nightmares. For a moment, Kisumi seems to hesitate.

"It's true he was dating one of the bartenders for a while. He was seen entering a nearby hotel with the guy. How foolish of them. Well, you've heard the rumours, they sent him packing the next day."

He turns off the tap and straightens his back. Rin watches him in silence.

"I have an ex in the Force, good guy, working down at Tokyo PD. Two weeks ago they found Minami's body in a ditch. Overdose, they said, needles and other shit scattered around him..."

Kisumi falters. His indigo, soulful eyes search for Rin's garnet.

"Minami had always been clean..."

There's a lump of concrete stuck in Rin's throat. And it doesn't go down no matter how many times he swallows.

 **oooooooooooooooo**

Shades of cerulean and scarlet stream down his body, bathing him in a preternatural glow. Even though the lights are not that bright, the first time Rin had been there, they blinded him. He had blinked multiple times, unable to shove his amateurism away or that painful feeling of suffocation that had suddenly overwhelmed him. Because what scared him was what the lights were concealing.

Back then, he could see them. Dozens of shadows anticipating his first move. Vultures sitting silently in the darkness, with rows of sparkling teeth ready to devour any piece of him, as long as someone whistled the signal. Menacing as the stench of their prolonged arousal was poisoning the atmosphere. He had tried in vain to focus on the game and forget all those pairs of piercing eyes sizing his soul up and down; that early morning they had followed him home into his routine.

But that was long ago. Skin hardened with time. Now, past the lights, there's nothing but a faint rainbow as the colours dissipate into blackness. It's not that the shady figures vanished. He can see them if he wants, see them for what they truly are; an array of different people, no less human than himself. Young lads who drink away their first time, repulsive pensioners old enough to be his grandfathers, anxious husbands with the word guilt written on their foreheads, businessmen and lawyers hiding their kinks behind their prestigious selves. Males. All of them.

And yet, there's nothing and no one of interest past the stage for him anymore. A stage that is narrow and shoddy. In other words, perfect for its purpose. Right in the middle, Rin Matsuoka is resting comfortably on his throne of dirt, a royal red coat with white fur trimming draped over his shoulders like a cape. There's only a long, wooden table before him, on this rather empty and poor set. But who treasures luxury anyway when the main attraction is him?

When Haruka enters, the music shifts. Smoothly he treads upon the stage, his tuxedo boxer briefs highlighting his toned gluteal muscles, white fabric cuffs around his wrists and a bow tie adoring his alabaster neck. He is carrying a tray with expertise, bearing various gifts; a bottle of wine and its crystal glass, a leather strap, a sharp dagger. The most perfect butler.

He comes to a halt right beside Rin's imperial seat. Scarlet bangs cascade above his bandit mask and Haruka can't see his eyes from this angle, but he can already feel the fervor lying deep within them caressing his naked body. If anything , Rin likes to admire and be admired. So he bends over to place the tray on the wooden table, gracing the redhead with the most tantalizing rear view he could hope for. Rin leans closer and takes a long sniff from Haruka's cloth clad balls all the way up his crack, breathing in whatever virile scent is emitted. Ostentatiously, he bares his shark teeth and digs them in one of the brunet's tempting buttocks. Despite the fabric, Haruka can feel the sharpness pretty well. And it's definitely arousing.

He sways his hips lightly against Rin, inviting the redhead to rub harder his face against his firm bottom, but he doesn't lose his focus. He proceeds to open the bottle and pour wine red as blood into the glass. As he turns around, Rin relaxes back to his throne, provocatively running his tongue across his upper lip, asserting how much he just enjoyed their little rimming game. In response, Haruka brings the glass to Rin's mouth. Its heady aroma teases Rin's nostrils and he slowly takes a sip. The smoky taste reveals a wine that has spent years in oaken barrels. It's rich and leaves a light tingling sensation among his gums. Charmed, he follows the glass' edge yearning for more.

Instead, he meets Haruka's soft lips. The brunet is towering him, replacing the sweetness of grapes with the nectar of his mouth. The kiss starts slow and sensual, but it quickly turns to an open mouthed battle for domination. So that all the prying eyes can behold. As Haruka swirls his tongue around Rin's velvet one, he purposely lets the remaining wine spill on the redhead's smooth chest that the flamboyant coat leaves uncovered. The liquid streams down the gap, its sudden iciness eliciting a low, guttural moan from Rin, that's quickly stifled within Haruka's voracious mouth. The same mouth that soon abandons Rin's face and travels lower, ritually lapping at the red trail painting the valleys of his flesh.

Red spotlights are now illuminating Haruka's restless mouth-work and its scandalous results on Rin's dramatic face. Besides, the latter's prowess in illustrating all sort of lewd expressions has been legendary among the underground circles. Teeth graze around sensitive nipples while deft fingers tip toe downwards, tracing the line of garnet pubic hair crowning his family jewels. Haruka's tongue snakes around Rin's belly button and he has to kneel before this king of the underworld to access lower and pay his respect properly. His cool breath titillates Rin's inflamed skin, causing the redhead to respond by raking his fingers through Haruka's dark mane and parting his legs wider. His manhood is already standing, thick and impressive, and the several whistles that reach his ears in this haze, betray their grim audience is as excited as he is.

But he's also strained. Haruka can feel Rin's tension throbbing in his stretched thighs. There's no much he can do considering the situation they are in, so he slowly kneads Rin's muscles with his palms. To all those vile intruders of their love-making, it looks like yet another obscene fondling. Meanwhile, his silky tongue continues its meticulous work, massaging his shaft in circular motions all the way from the tightened balls to its tender head. He continues his merciless teasing until he feels the shark boy's hips buck up in desperate need of further attention, and he places a feathery kiss on the rosy tip.

That's Rin's cue.

His fingers curl more tightly into Haruka's ebony hair, forcing him to arch his neck and gaze upwards. His azure eyes shine like two crescents oozing moonlight, his usual blank stare just a ghost of the past. Droplets of precum already make his parted lips glisten and the erratic pulse vibrating through his neck unmasks his craving for more. In his moment of sexual weakness, Haruka is indeed a breathtakingly beautiful sight. Rin offers him a sinful grin and then violently shoves him away.

That's their little rehearsed number. Anything to intensify the clients' pleasure. Despite his abrupt fall, Haruka gets swiftly on all four. Like a feline stalking its prey, he cautiously crawls up to where Rin is now standing. He brushes his body against Rin's shins a couple of times and claws on his legs, leisurely lifting himself up. Bit by bit, he uses the redhead's body as a pole to climb back to his feet, taking his time to leave burning hickeys wherever his lips chance upon. Rin remains silent, his chest heaving under Haruka's ministrations and his glazed rubies traversing the dark void in front of him. Once he's fully standing behind him, the brunet's arms encircle Rin and his hands grab fistfuls of his outrageous coat. The music echoes a mind-blowing tune from afar, turning more and more upbeat with every second ticking away. With a sudden yank, he pulls the long cloak off him, revealing every inch of Rin's robust, well-toned body in all its naked glory. Exposing the vulnerable king to his ravenous people.

A shameless hand slides between his limbs and Rin's heavy eyelids shut the world away. His breaths come out hectic, in perfect tune with the electronic music drilling his head. Its drumming is his soul's metronome. Skillful fists are pumping his member with long, hard strokes, in an open demonstration that threatens the sanity and stretches the pants of anyone staring. Familiar lips are nibbling his delicate nape and as the sensations sent both by this innocent caress and his throbbing dick collide into one dazzling firework, his burgeoning need to let vulgar curses escape his mouth becomes frantic. But they are not allowed to make a sound, not yet at least. Thus Rin curses inside his mind.

Craning his neck sideways, he slowly opens his hooded eyes. His captivating scarlet, lustful and foggy, melts into the deep ultramarine that holds his gaze with such longing. The tip of his tongue prods the corner of Haruka's lips, in flawless sync with his light thrusts in his hand, eventually slipping past them. They kiss. It's needy. It's passionate. And it's something that nefarious crowd will never understand.

Without breaking their strong liplock, Rin shifts within Haruka's arms. Licking and sucking, he forces the brunet to take several steps backwards, until he's toppled over the wooden table. Rin puts a knee on its surface for support and gently rolls down the other man's briefs. This blissful slackening of his clothing restraints, makes Haruka hiss. He has been painfully hard since the moment he stepped on this stage. Since he laid eyes upon his damned king.

In one swift move, Rin straddles Haruka's pelvis in reverse cowboy style. He allows the fullness of his torso to slither across the naked body beneath him, fusing every solid curve with his own. Once his groin is perfectly aligned with Haruka's face, Rin exhales a subtle sigh and lowers his mout on his partner's erect penis. Two seconds later, his own wood sinks in Haruka's warmth. They establish a quick pace, sucking and rubbing each other with eagerness. Surrendering himself to the task, Haruka is nuzzling Rin's crack with his nose while swallowing him, bringing even his fingers into play to tickle his sensitive opening. Myriads of flaming bolts course through Rin's shuddering body and he loosens his jaw even more around Haruka, upping his performance. He revels in the brunet's taste, a unique mixture of salt and seaweed, as he feels his penis swelling and exploring every corner of his mouth. It's not long before Haruka greets his climax and white streamers of semen flow down Rin's throat.

That's when the music finally stops.

Without having met his own release yet, Rin drags himself off Haruka. For a moment stagnant in time, they both sit in silence on the coarse timber. There's a creamy bead trickling from the corner of Rin's mouth. That unpolished image of his, flustered by sex, naked and raw, always strums Haruka's chords. And as he gently wipes the boy's chin with his thumb, Rin tilts his head and lays a satin peck on the thick digit. They interlace their fingers and Haruka pulls Rin's hand onto his chest. For everyone else watching this scene, it's just another chance for the redhead to squeeze his partner's pectorals. For them, it's their own, sacred rite. Because as Rin's palm lies flat above the folds engulfing Haruka's heart, he knows that they are ready for what is about to happen. It's the brunet's way of telling him everything is going to be alright.

The next minute, Haruka is twisted and flattened on top of the table. The low hanging briefs are forcefully torn off him and scattered around in shreds. His legs are drawn apart and his rear is hauled to the very end of the furniture. Rin is looming over him, unsatisfied hunger reigning his face and Haruka, completely knuckled under the shark's trance, spreads his lower cheeks for him.

And he breaches the gate. In one slow, prolonged motion.

Rin inhales sharply. Every single fiber of his being grows rigid and it's actually Haruka's rhythmic hip motions that soothe his stress and urge him to move. Every twitch of Rin's shaft is a stride away from pain, every poke on Haruka's prostate is a step closer to euphoria. They move together now, their bodies fitting completely and Haruka is finally allowed to scream his lungs out. This is the reason after all the thunderous music always stops during the peak of their libido. So that every witness in the dim hall can experience thoroughly their ecstatic cries.

"Come on, cut him!" a shadow exclaims from the abyss. Every time Rin hopes they skip this part. Every time his wish is denied.

His eyes seesaw between the dagger and Haruka. Only when the raven haired man nods reassuringly, does he reach for the fine blade. A stinging pain weaves itself through Haruka's shoulder, as a thin,clean fissure starts gushing warm blood. It hurts a lot less as soon as Rin pacifies the fresh wound with his tongue and lips. Despite his inward worry, there's not a single thing about him that Haruka doesn't find stimulating. Not even the agony he is inflicting.

Rin's thrusts become more vigorous now. Haruka's inner muscles contract around him in unimaginable ways, milking him and pushing him closer to his limits. However, there's still one more spice to add to these late night kinks. Without losing his pace, Rin wraps the leather strap around Haruka's neck. The brunet's legs encircle his waist, securing their tight fucking so that Rin's hands will stay free. And then, Rin pulls the strap's ends.

At first, it's just a touch of uneasiness. Then, it transforms into a choking feeling. And as Rin sinks in and pulls out, keeping up with their bodies' friction, it soon shapes up into a fuzzy sensation. As the flow of oxygen to his brain is slowly cut off, Haruka becomes giddy. His body shakes with every violent push. His head is hanging by the edge of the table. That's how he is gazing at the shady figures beyond the stage. Upside down. His cerulean eyes hammer the strip bar, steeled and unfocused. He sees nothing anymore but a charcoal blur.

As they both ride the crescendo of their orgasms, the strap binding Haruka's neck is finally loosened. But it's not just air that suddenly floods his lungs. It's also _him_. It's also Rin. He breathes him in, his musky scent, his rampant emotions, his magnetic being. There's nothing but his presence around. And as the red lights above them blend with Rin's fiery strands of hair, Haruka is blissfully drowning in a sea of vermilion.

 **ooooooooooooooooo**

"Hey, are you okay?"

Rin's ruby orbs sail from the faint mark around Haruka's neck towards the small bandage on his shoulder. In his voice, there's a hint of concern.

"Yes, I'm fine."

Haruka shrugs nonchalantly and buttons his shirt up. The wide, cracked mirror before them reflects their mechanical motions as they are getting dressed. Rin casts a brief glance at Kisumi still applying hair gel beside them and nods.

Having packed his stuff within minutes, Haruka heads towards the exit. For a second, he hesitates.

"Well...goodnight."

"Night, love!"

Kisumi hums playfully. Rin seconds him with a rather awkward smile. Haruka is half step away from the door, when it's swung open. Lady's nauseating fragrance raids the cramped toilets at once.

"Good job boys...Kisumi? Why is your bitchy ass still here?"

"Blink and I'm gone, my Lady!" the bubblegum flirt blurts , before squeezing himself between the hateful woman and Haruka in order to leave.

"You better put on a damn good show, you hear me?!" she rolls her eyes, the black eyelashes shadowing her greasy skin. "Nanase are you leaving?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay, pass by the front bar before you're gone, Sasa has tonight's payment. As for you Matsuoka..." her face instantly brightens at the sight of Rin "I need you for a bit, so stay."

Time stands still as Haruka seeks Rin's eyes. He finds them locked on him, two crimson crystals of sorrow. It's nothing more than a mere moment, and when it fizzles out, the brunet lowers his head and walks away.

"There's a gentleman waiting for you at the hall, darling."

The door creaks further open. Down the narrow corridor, a balding man is leaning against the rough, brick wall. He is tall and in good shape for someone in his early fifties. When he notices them, his lips curl up to a lopsided smile. Rin feels his insides churn.

"He's a respectable uptown businessman, so I can count on you being discreet, darling. Now go doll up and don't keep him waiting."

She kisses his cheek before she leaves, spraying a burning sensation on his skin. Just like the kiss of Judah. Rin's jaw muscles contract. He inhales deeply, shunting the scathing feeling inside him. When he is finally out in the hall, he greets the man with that incandescent grin of his. The one that's worth the world in gold.

 **ooooooooooooooooo**

It's well past two in the morning, when Nanase Haruka returns home. The first thing he always does as soon as he enters his small apartment, is to jump right into the shower. As a teenager, he used to spend whole afternoons just soaking in his bathtub. Nowadays, immersing himself in water is not enough. He has to scrub the night's decay off his body. It's an obsessive compulsive habit. Occasionally, he rubs the skin so hard it bleeds.

Feeling like brand new, he walks out of the steam. He slips into a pair of sweatpants and a loose T-shirt featuring a dolphin flipping above the turquoise waters. His eyes drift towards the clock on the wall.

02:45

Something soft and delicate makes his ankles tingle and he cocks an eyebrow downwards.

"What is it, Sakura?...Are you hungry?"

The white kitten that he once found crouching on a cherry blossom, keeps swirling around his legs while he puts some high-quality dry cat food in her plate. A low growl in his stomach informs him that he is as hungry.

He opens a cedar cabinet, taking out a can of cooked mackerel. He rummages through a drawer for a clean fork, when he pauses. He gazes up at the clock again.

03:05

He grunts but makes up his mind fast. He brings some chicken he's been keeping for the next day from the fridge. He sautes it in a wok with garlic. He chops carrots, mushrooms, a few other vegetables he finds available. He adds some soy sauce in the end and a hint of spice. Sometimes, when he's daydreaming in his room, he's a chef.

Once he's done, he returns to his mackerel. He eats alone.

He does the dishes. The chicken is ready. He isn't particularly fond of how it smells. A jagged bolt of lightning slices the sky, its booming sound reverberating through his dark apartment. He slightly pulls back the curtains, peering through the glass. It's tar-black outside and the torrential thunderstorm makes the world howl.

For several seconds, his eyes stay frozen on the clock.

03:55

He spends the night perched on the couch, watching reruns on TV. Sakura is resting lazily on his lap. A talk show with failed celebrities, an episode of a low budget soap opera, an old anime with schoolboys swimming in relays. From time to time, he spies on himself checking the clock.

04:45

The monotonous rain tapping on his windows eventually lulls him to sleep, right there at the sofa's corner. It's not until 05:30, when the key finally turns into the door's lock, instantly stirring Haruka awake.

Rin staggers in. Traveled and stained. Drenched to the bone. His wet hair is glued on his face like serpents and his puffed eyes are shuttered like a mosaic. He barely spares a glance around, before arduously dragging his feet towards a kitchen stool. A trembling hand, with knuckles paled out of cold, tosses a crumbled pack of yen notes on the sleek table.

"Are you hungry?...I've made chicken for you."

Rin buries his head between his crossed forearms in response, and muffled sobs sweep away the silence. He's crying.

In an instant, Haruka is by his side, lovingly cradling Rin's head in his embrace. A red laceration on his neck's backbone, similar to their performance reward decorating his own shoulder, catches Haruka's attention. All he needs is a light pull on the redhead's shirt to reveal the rest of the horror. Countless crimson slits and severe bruises are engraved on his back, converting the flesh into a sanguine canvas. Some of them are still fresh. Without a word, Haruka vanishes into the bathroom, only to return a minute later with an antiseptic solution and sterile bandages. He usually has to buy new ones every ten days.

But as soon as he leans down, an unyielding grip around his arm halts his first aid treating.

"I can't do this anymore..." Salty tears stream past Rin's lips, strangling his voice "...I don't want to do this anymore, Haru..."

Haru presses Rin's temple against his chest, harboring his lover into the safety of his bay. He trails soothing kisses on his red locks, the taste of rain and Rin's fear merging into his mouth.

"What if they find out about us?...What will I do if they take you away from me?...Oh God..."

Rin's body is convulsing as violent sobs overwhelm him, under the weight of their bleak future.

"I can't do this anymore..."

"Yes you can..."

"I..I can't..."

Haruka suddenly pulls a breath away from him and, swaddling Rin's face in his hands, forces his gaze to turn upwards.

"Look at me!...Yes you can. Yes you will. _We_ will."

Those clear eyes. Glowing cobalt and adamant. The colour of the infinite ocean. That omnipotent blue.

"I promise you..." he whispers "...look...don't you see them already? The expanding city? The green, round hills?"

Their eyes stray towards the opposite wall. There, where a large map is covering its unplastered surface. Dozens of pins colour its dull grey, one for every wistful destination. Various yellow notes are stuck across the map, handwritten directions for every possible plan. A journey away from their lives' murk, beyond the vast horizon. A great chimera.

"Don't you see them? The tall mountains beyond the verdant valleys? The picturesque towns and little villages? Your sister waiting for you?"

"Gou..."

"And the roads...long and endless, leading far far away...And then, the escape we longed since children... the ocean?"

"The ocean..."

"I promise you, my love...I promise..."

Below the wide map with the tattered edges, right on the top shelf of an old furniture, a big glass jar is resting beside a pile of forgotten books. A plain piggy-bank for banknotes and coins, their little common treasure. There's still a long way till it's actually full, but they are on the right path; right now its filled above the middle.

One yen for every castle they conquered while asleep. One yen for every chimera they dreamed of while awake.

 **The End**

 _Looking out at the rain_  
 _Looking in through the storm._  
 _Treading the waves,_  
 _Come in from harm._  
 _How could you regret your other words..._  
 _Hoping for thrills - free as a bird..._

 _There's a knock at the door,_  
 _I get up - let you in._  
 _Traveled and stained,_  
 _Soaked to the skin._  
 _Welcome my darling, you got here at last..._  
 _Come and sit by the fire - forget what's past. **  
**_

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Thanks for reading! I'm back and will be posting more fics, both yaoi and het on Free!. Reviews are appreciated.


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